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Sexual conduct refers to conduct with a sufficient nexus to sexual feelings. Throughout this essay, sex will be used to mean touching with intense sexual feelings, especially touching by another person. This differs somewhat from the standard usage. In particular masturbation, especially mutual masturbation, is treated as a type of sex. The term "sexual intercourse" is used in the conventional way.
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As the definition suggests, sexual feelings are not special. The primary difference between sexual and non-sexual feelings is cultural, and the primary non-cultural difference is in the magnitude of the feelings. Consequently, the correct morality for sex is similar to morality for ordinary non-sexual massage. Although sexual feelings may be very strong, sexual behavior can quickly become a normal part of life, with the person's personality largely undisturbed.
Sexual feelings are likely to be stronger when equivalent stimulation is done by another person rather than oneself because with stimulation by another person, you lack a mental preimage of the feelings. Feelings are likely to be stronger when having sex first time (assuming that the physical behavior is equivalent to subsequent times) because of lack of mental constructs to deal with the feelings, and similarly for particular sexual behaviors/situations.
Physical feelings from comparable physical contact tend to be stronger in children partly because to some extent the strength of feelings is relative to other feelings experienced, and partly because of a reduced capacity to internalize feelings into routine mental constructs. (However, biological changes such as puberty may make analogous stimulation incomparable.)
The strength of sexual feelings can create a temporary mental state of altered reality. Basic properties of objects such as shape and color will be remain the same, but the perception will be different, the sexual experience will be the dominant feeling, and the physical world may appear less real.
Physical risks of sexual behaviors are not discussed here. The reader is encouraged to learn about the risks elsewhere, especially if the reader is planning on having sex. Here, it suffices to note that strong sexual feelings and interactions are often physically safe.
Most people in most situations sexually prefer a person of opposite sex.
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